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Appendix H

Important Notices

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This book offers general information and lived-experience tools; it is not a substitute for individualised medical, mental health, or educational advice. Always consult qualified professionals about diagnosis, treatment, medication, or supplements for your child or family.

Legal and Custody Disclaimer

School and parenting order rules vary by jurisdiction, district, and court order. Nothing in this book is legal advice. When questions involve records access, decision authority, or safety planning, consult your parenting order and a qualified lawyer or local advocacy organisation.

Safety and Crisis Disclaimer

If a child or adult is at immediate risk of harm to self or others, follow local emergency guidance and seek professional help right away. Safety comes first, even when the family system is under strain.

Crisis Resources (New Zealand):

  • Emergency: 111
  • Lifeline Aotearoa: 0800 543 354
  • Need to Talk?: 1737 (free, 24/7)
  • Youthline: 0800 376 633
  • OUTLine NZ (Rainbow): 0800 688 5463

Trauma-Informed Use Disclaimer

Many families have histories of trauma, conflict, or unsafe relationships. Use this book at your own pace and skip anything that feels activating or unsafe. If you are navigating trauma, consider working alongside a registered psychologist or counsellor for added support.

A Note on Pronouns: Why "She"?

Throughout this book, you will notice we predominantly use "she" and "her" when describing neurodivergent children. This is intentional.

Girls and women with ADHD, Autism, PDA, and ODD are systematically underdiagnosed. They often mask their symptoms, internalise their struggles, and are dismissed as "shy," "sensitive," or "just anxious." By the time they are diagnosed—if they are diagnosed at all—they have often spent years internalising shame.

By centring female examples, we aim to help you recognise neurodivergent traits in your daughter. That said, the strategies work for all children, regardless of gender. When we say "she," read it as "your child." When we say "her meltdown," picture your child's meltdown.

You will also see us use "they/them" pronouns when discussing children in general. This reflects both grammatical convention and our belief that many neurodivergent children are non-binary or gender-expansive. You are welcome here, too.

Te Tiriti o Waitangi Acknowledgement

We acknowledge Te Tiriti o Waitangi as the founding document of Aotearoa New Zealand. We recognise the mana of tangata whenua and are committed to honouring the principles of partnership, participation, and protection in all aspects of our work.

For the complete evidence base and citations, see Appendix E.

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