Works Cited

A comprehensive log of the research, literature, and resources referenced throughout this book.

Chapter 00: Navigator's Compass: Quick Reference Guide

• ADHD Causes: Is ADHD Genetic? – ADDA – Attention Deficit Disorder Association, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://add.org/is-adhd-genetic/
• Autism Spectrum Disorder: Genetic Mechanisms and Inheritance Patterns – MDPI, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://www.mdpi.com/2073-4425/16/5/478

Chapter 1: Cartographers of Uncharted Waters: An Invitation to the Voyage

• Stress Assessment in Parents of Children With Autism Spectrum Disorder: A Prospective Case-Control Study - PubMed, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39473684/
• Autism and Maternal Stress | Psychology Today, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-flourishing-family/202109/autism-and-maternal-stress
• Autism and ADHD: A Literature Review Regarding Their Impacts on Parental Divorce - PMC, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10047374/
• Oppositional Defiance or Faulty Neuroception? - Dr. Mona Delahooke, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://monadelahooke.com/oppositional-defiance-faulty-neuroception/
• Neurodivergent Affirming Language Guide - Neurodiverse Connection, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://ndconnection.co.uk/resources/p/nd-affirming-language-guide
• Enhanced Perceptual Functioning in Autism: An Update, and Eight Principles of Autistic Perception - Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 2006, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-005-0040-7
• Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance: What It Is, Why It Happens, and How to Navigate It - Mumwell, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://mumwell.com/blog/understanding-pathological-demand-avoidance
• Autism Spectrum Disorder: Genetic Mechanisms and Inheritance Patterns - MDPI, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.mdpi.com/2073-4425/16/5/478

Chapter 2: Understanding the Waters: ADHD, Autism, PDA, and ODD Explained

• Revolutionise Communication: Harnessing Neurodiversity-Affirming Language, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://moveupaba.com/blog/neurodiversity-affirming-language/
• Deficit, difference, or both? Autism and neurodiversity. - Developmental Psychology, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1037/a0028353
• Hallowell, Edward M., and John J. Ratey. (2021). ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction. Ballantine Books.
• Your Brain Is a Ferrari - ADDitude, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.additudemag.com/how-to-explain-adhd-to-a-child-and-build-confidence/
• Volkow, N.D., et al. (2009). Evaluating Dopamine Reward Pathway in ADHD: Clinical Implications. JAMA, 302(10), 1084–1091. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2009.1308
• Unraveling ADHD: genes, co-occurring traits, and developmental dynamics, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.life-science-alliance.org/content/8/5/e202403029
• The known and unknown about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) genetics: a special emphasis on Arab population - Frontiers, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/genetics/articles/10.3389/fgene.2024.1405453/full
• Behavioural inhibition, sustained attention, and executive functions: Constructing a unifying theory of ADHD. - Psychological Bulletin, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.121.1.65
• Shaw, P., et al. (2007). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is characterized by a delay in cortical maturation. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 104(49), 19649–19654. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0707741104
• Martinussen, R., et al. (2005). A meta-analysis of working memory impairments in children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 44(4), 377–384. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.chi.0000153228.72591.73
• Emotion dysregulation in adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a meta-analysis - BMC Psychiatry, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-2442-7
• ADHD Foundation Australia - Community education and resources, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://adhdfoundation.org.au
• The heritability of clinically diagnosed attention deficit hyperactivity disorder across the lifespan. - Karolinska Institutet - Figshare, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://openarchive.ki.se/articles/journal_contribution/The_heritability_of_clinically_diagnosed_attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_across_the_lifespan_/27242163
• ADHD Causes: Is ADHD Genetic? - ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://add.org/is-adhd-genetic/
• Impact of Comorbid Oppositional Defiant Disorder on the Clinical and Neuropsychological Characteristics of Korean Children With Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10620339/
• Oppositional Defiant Disorder - Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.chop.edu/conditions-diseases/oppositional-defiant-disorder
• Supekar, K., et al. (2013). Brain hyperconnectivity in children with autism and its links to social deficits. Cell Reports, 5(3), 738–747. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.celrep.2013.10.001
• Green, S.A., et al. (2015). Overreactive brain responses to sensory stimuli in youth with autism spectrum disorders. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 54(2), 117–124. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2014.10.013
• Free Neurodiversity Printables!, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://therapistndc.org/education/free-neurodiversity-printables/
• Murray, D., Lesser, M., & Lawson, W. (2005). Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism. Autism, 9(2), 139–156. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361305051398
• Demand avoidance - National Autistic Society, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/demand-avoidance
• Demand avoidance - PDA Society, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-is-pda/demand-avoidance/
• Porges, S.W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company. https://doi.org/10.1080/00029157.2013.768388
• Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Autism: A Guide For Allies - Reframing Autism, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://reframingautism.org.au/pathological-demand-avoidance-pda-and-autism-guide-for-allies/
• PDA traits, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-is-pda/pda-traits/
• accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-helps-guides/helping-your-pda-child-with-dressing/#:~:text=Using%20different%20language%3A%20instead%20of,while%20they're%20doing%20it.
• Explaining (Reframing) Oppositional behaviour to Kids, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://explainingbrains.com/explaining-behaviour/
• Oppositional Defiance or Faulty Neuroception? - Dr. Mona Delahooke, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://monadelahooke.com/oppositional-defiance-faulty-neuroception/
• [Unreferenced in body text] Explaining Neurodiversity to Kids – A Conversational Script for Parents Tool - ECHO Autism Communities, accessed on February 16, 2026, https://echoautism.org/resources/explaining-neurodiversity-to-kids-a-conversational-script-for-parents-tool/
• When Autism and ADHD Occur Together - American Psychiatric Association, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/when-autism-and-adhd-occur-together
• The comorbidity of ADHD and autism spectrum disorder - Expert Review of Neurotherapeutics, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1586/14737175.2013.840417
• Extreme/'pathological' demand avoidance: an overview - Paediatrics and Child Health, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paed.2020.09.002
• Rewards and Consequences with PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.stephstwogirls.co.uk/2019/10/rewards-and-consequences-with-pda.html
• Benson, K. & Bandler, R. (2018). Teaching Excellence: The Definitive Guide to NLP for Teaching and Learning. New Thinking Publications. ISBN: 978-0998716718
• The trap of "I am not an extrovert" - Hacker News, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42514127

Chapter 3: Two Captains, One Ship: Building Your Co-Parenting Team

• Rate and predictors of divorce among parents of youth with ADHD - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2631569/
• Behavioural inhibition, sustained attention, and executive functions: Constructing a unifying theory of ADHD. - Psychological Bulletin, 1997, https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.121.1.65
• The Relative Risk and Timing of Divorce in Families of Children with an Autism Spectrum Disorder - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2928572/
• Divorce Rate for Families with Autism | All Star ABA, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.allstaraba.org/blog/divorce-rate-for-families-with-autism
• 80 Percent Autism Divorce Rate Debunked in First-of-Its Kind Scientific Study - PR Newswire, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/80-percent-autism-divorce-rate-debunked-in-first-of-its-kind-scientific-study-94269899.html
• The Impact of Parenting Stress: A Meta-analysis of Studies Comparing the Experience of Parenting Stress in Parents of Children With and Without Autism Spectrum Disorder - Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 2013, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-012-1604-y
• Maternal Cortisol Levels and behaviour Problems in Adolescents and Adults with ASD - PMC, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2837763/
• For mothers of children with autism, the caregiving life proves stressful - UW–Madison News, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://news.wisc.edu/for-mothers-of-children-with-autism-the-caregiving-life-proves-stressful/
• (PDF) The Application of the Polyvagal Theory to High Conflict Co‐Parenting Cases, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/340972644_The_Application_of_the_Polyvagal_Theory_to_High_Conflict_Co-Parenting_Cases
• Leveraging the developmental neuroscience of caregiving to promote resilience among youth exposed to adversity - PMC - PubMed Central, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10872788/
• Children’s Responses to Interparental Conflict: A Meta-Analysis of Their Associations With Child Adjustment - Child Development, 2008, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2008.01235.x
• Understanding Neuroscience and Attachment in Divorce and Co-Parenting, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.familyhorizonscounselling.com/post/understanding-neuroscience-and-attachment-in-divorce-and-co-parenting
• Decreased amygdala reactivity to parent cues protects against anxiety following early adversity: an examination across 3-years - PubMed Central, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6612442/
• Understanding the Impact of Interparental Conflict on Children: The Role of Social Cognitive Processes (Chapter 6), accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/interparental-conflict-and-child-development/understanding-the-impact-of-interparental-conflict-on-children-the-role-of-social-cognitive-processes/E995BD5B9938380B3DDA2329A774B8A7
• Coregulation: A Multilevel Approach via Biology and behaviour - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10453544/
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• Understanding the Parent-Child Coregulation Patterns Shaping Child Self-Regulation - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7556995/
• Plunket - Parenting and child development information, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.plunket.org.nz
• Stress Effects on Neuronal Structure: Hippocampus, Amygdala, and Prefrontal Cortex - Neuropsychopharmacology, 2016, https://doi.org/10.1038/npp.2015.171
• Betrayal Trauma: The Surprising Neurobiology of Healing - Emotions Therapy Calgary, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.emotionstherapycalgary.ca/blog-therapy-calgary-emotions-clinic/betrayal-trauma
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• Parallel Parenting vs. Cooperative Co-Parenting: Finding Your Balance, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.sharedparenting.org/coparentingstyles
• Co-operative Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting: Which Approach is Right For You? - 2Houses, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.2houses.com/en/blog/co-operative-parenting-vs-parallel-parenting-which-approach-is-right-for-you
• Having Trouble Co-Parenting? Try Parallel Parenting! - National Parents Organisation, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.sharedparenting.org/sharedparentingnews/pfryxw62xsu4kdtpc9e3cv32czsiji
• Parallel Parenting: Making a Plan and Getting Started, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/custody/advice/parallel-parenting.php (US-based resource; strategies applicable to NZ context)
• Can Parallel Parenting Actually Work in High-Conflict Cases?, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://attorneywenger.com/child-custody/can-parallel-parenting-actually-work-in-high-conflict-custody-cases-yes-heres-how-it-helps-you-and-your-kids-in-pennsylvania/ (Pennsylvania-specific; strategies applicable to NZ context)
• Parallel Parenting for High-Conflict Families: A Comprehensive Guide - Minella Law Group, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://minellalawgroup.com/blog/parallel-parenting-for-high-conflict-families-a-comprehensive-guide/
• Co-Parenting: The Fundamental Models and Strategies - Lawrence Law, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://lawlawfirm.com/co-parenting-the-fundamental-models-and-strategies/
• ADHD-Friendly Co-Parenting: Tools That Make Life Easier (and Saner) - Agave Health, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.agavehealth.com/post/adhd-friendly-co-parenting-tools-that-make-life-easier-and-saner
• How to Co-Parent an ADHD Child Without Losing Your Own Sanity - 2Houses, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.2houses.com/en/blog/how-to-co-parent-an-adhd-child-without-losing-your-own-sanity
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Chapter 4: The Morning Passage: Routines and Rituals for a Smooth Start

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Chapter 5: Stormy Seas: Meltdowns, Tantrums, and Emotional Dysregulation

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• Amygdala Hijack: When Emotion Takes Over - Healthline, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.healthline.com/health/stress/amygdala-hijack
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• ADHD New Zealand - National ADHD Advocacy & Support, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.adhd.org.nz
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• Emotional dysregulation and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder - PubMed Central - NIH, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4282137/
• Extreme/'pathological' demand avoidance: an overview - Paediatrics and Child Health, 2020, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paed.2020.09.002
• Child Development Team - East Sussex Healthcare NHS Trust, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.esht.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Demand-Avoidance-Vs-Pathological-Demand-Avoidance-PDA.pdf
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• Development of the “Extreme Demand Avoidance Questionnaire” (EDA-Q): preliminary observations on a trait measure for Pathological Demand Avoidance - Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 2014, https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.12149
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• Parent-infant synchrony and the construction of shared timing; physiological precursors, developmental outcomes, and risk conditions - Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 2007, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2006.01701.x
• Coregulation: A Multilevel Approach via Biology and Behavior - PMC - PubMed Central, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10453544/
• Parent-child physiological synchrony: Concurrent and lagged effects during dyadic laboratory interaction - Developmental Psychobiology, 2021, https://doi.org/10.1002/dev.22196
• Brief Report: A Pilot Study of Parent–Child Biobehavioral Synchrony in Autism Spectrum Disorder, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-015-2528-0
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• Collaborative-Proactive-Solutions-CPS-Booklet.pdf, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.scpcn.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Collaborative-Proactive-Solutions-CPS-Booklet.pdf
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• Autism, Masking and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) - Steph's Two Girls, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.stephstwogirls.co.uk/2021/02/autism-masking-and-pathological-demand.html
• Asen, Eia, and Emma Morris. (2020). High-Conflict Parenting Post-Separation. Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429468957
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Chapter 6: Bridging Two Worlds: Transitions Between Homes

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• (Body doubling noted as a practical strategy reported by ADHD adults; retained as illustrative guidance rather than evidence)
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• Social Stories for Transitions: Making Changes Easier - Catalyst Care Group, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://catalystgrp.co.uk/blog/social-stories-for-transitions-making-changes-easier/

Chapter 7: School and Beyond: Charting a Course in the Outside World

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• Human Rights Commission (NZ) - Making a complaint, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.hrc.co.nz/enquiries-and-complaints/
• Education complaints and review pathways - Ministry of Education NZ, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.education.govt.nz
• Education and Training Act 2020 (NZ) - New Zealand Legislation, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/2020/0038/latest/LMS170676.html
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• Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Autism: A Guide For Allies - Reframing Autism, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://reframingautism.org.au/pathological-demand-avoidance-pda-and-autism-guide-for-allies/
• KidsHealth NZ - Parenting and school communication resources, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.kidshealth.org.nz
• ADHD New Zealand - National ADHD Advocacy & Support, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.adhd.org.nz
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• Autism New Zealand - Autism research and resources, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.autismnz.org.nz
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• ADHD New Zealand - National ADHD Advocacy & Support, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.adhd.org.nz
• Parenting plans and dispute resolution - New Zealand Ministry of Justice Family, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.justice.govt.nz/family/
• Sport New Zealand, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.sportnz.org.nz
• Sport New Zealand, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.sportnz.org.nz
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• Autism New Zealand - Family resources, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.autismnz.org.nz
• BULLYING AND AUTISM: DEVELOPING EFFECTIVE ANTI-BULLYING PRACTICE, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/sites/default/files/uploads/attachments/Autism%20and%20bullying%20guide%202023_FINAL.pdf
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• KidsHealth NZ - Parenting and child development information, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.kidshealth.org.nz
• KidsHealth NZ - Parenting and child development information, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.kidshealth.org.nz
• Privacy Act 2020 (NZ) - New Zealand Legislation, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/2020/0031/latest/LMS23223.html
• Sensory Safety Plans: How to Prepare for and Manage Sensory Overload, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://neurodivergentinsights.com/sensory-overload-sensory-safety-plan/
• KidsHealth NZ - Parenting and child development information, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.kidshealth.org.nz
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• Human Rights Act 1993 (NZ) - New Zealand Legislation, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/1993/0082/latest/DLM304212.html
• Education and Training Act 2020 (NZ) - New Zealand Legislation, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/2020/0038/latest/LMS170676.html
• Human Rights Commission New Zealand - Disability discrimination complaints, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://www.hrc.co.nz/enquiries-and-complaints/
• Human Rights Commission New Zealand - Disability Rights, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://www.hrc.co.nz/your-rights/disability-rights/
• Whaikaha - Ministry of Disabled People - Disability Advocacy and Support, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://www.whaikaha.govt.nz
• Ministry of Education - Learning Support, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://www.education.govt.nz/school/student-support/special-education/
• Ministry of Education - Learning Support Framework, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://www.education.govt.nz/school/student-support/special-education/learning-support/
• Whaikaha - Disability Support Services for Children and Young People, accessed on December 24, 2025, https://www.whaikaha.govt.nz/support-and-services/for-disabled-people/children-and-young-people/
• Ministry of Education - School-aged Disability Support, accessed on December 24, 2025, https://www.education.govt.nz/school/student-support/special-education/
• Whaikaha - Equipment and Modifications, accessed on December 24, 2025, https://www.whaikaha.govt.nz/support-and-services/equipment-and-modifications/

Chapter 8: The Wider Village: Family, Friends, and Finding Support

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• The Role of Grandparents in Supporting Families of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders: A Family Systems Approach - Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-018-3753-0
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• Parenting Stress in Autistic and ADHD Children: Implications of Social Support and Child Characteristics - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12167323/
• Grandparents' Experience of Autism Spectrum Disorder: Identifying Primary Themes and Needs - Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3211-4
• Grandparents & Their Grandchild Autism Diagnosis - AIM Therapy for Children, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://aimtherapy.com.au/grandparents-gut-feelings-and-getting-an-autism-diagnosis/
• Advances in Supporting Parents in Interventions for Autism Spectrum Disorder - PMC, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11017782/
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• Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Autism: A Guide For Allies, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://reframingautism.org.au/pathological-demand-avoidance-pda-and-autism-guide-for-allies/
• Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Recommendations for Teachers and Parents - School of Education, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.education.udel.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/ODD-011807.pdf
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• Autism NZ - Family resources, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.autismnz.org.nz
• A Letter to Parents of Newly Diagnosed Children - InBloom Autism Services, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://inbloomautism.com/diagnostic-evaluations/welcome-letter-to-newly-diagnosed-parents/
• Autism NZ - Creating an autism inclusive New Zealand, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.autismnz.org.nz
• Autism NZ - Autism research and resources, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.autismnz.org.nz
• Co-parenting: a guide - Plunket, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.plunket.org.nz
• Anxiety Disorders and Sensory Over-Responsivity in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders: Is There a Causal Relationship? - Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-010-1007-x
• How to Discipline a Child with PDA - Avery's House Arizona, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.averyshousearizona.com/parenting/pda-child-discipline/
• Family System and Coping Behaviours - Autism, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361302006004006
• Resource: 9 Essential Boundaries for Respectful Co-Parenting - Action for Children, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.actionforchildren.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Nine-Essential-Boundaries-for-Respectful-Co-Parenting.pdf
• Examining the utilisation and usefulness of social support for mothers with young children with autism spectrum disorder - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6276793/
• Web Resources for Neurodivergent Children | Miriam School and Learning Centre, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.miriamstl.org/resources/web-resources
• The Benefits of Parent Support Groups for Families of Children with Autism, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.advancedautism.com/post/the-benefits-of-parent-support-groups-for-families-of-children-with-autism
• Autism NZ - Family resources, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.autismnz.org.nz
• PLAY DATES AND SENSORY ISSUES: HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR CHILD, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://theinspiredtreehouse.com/play-dates-and-sensory-issues-how-to-support-your-child-dates-and-sensory-issues-how-to-support-your-child/
• Autism NZ - Creating an autism inclusive New Zealand, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.autismnz.org.nz
• Planning the Perfect Playdate Activities for an Autistic Child - Autism Parenting Magazine, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/planning-best-playdate-with-autism/
• Exploring relationship satisfaction in mothers of children with disabilities: the predictive role of interparental conflicts and moderating role of dyadic coping - Frontiers in Psychiatry, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1307827
• Exploring relationship satisfaction in mothers of children with disabilities: the predictive role of interparental conflicts and moderating role of dyadic coping - Frontiers in Psychiatry, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1307827/full
• Greene, Ross W. (2014). The Explosive Child. HarperCollins.
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• Training - PDA Society, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• Autism NZ - Family resources, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.autismnz.org.nz
• Best Parenting Books for Raising Neurodiverse and Highly Sensitive Kids -, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://thesibleygroupdc.com/best-parenting-books-for-raising-neurodiverse-and-highly-sensitive-kids/
• ADHD NZ - Community education and resources, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.adhd.org.nz
• Books - PDA, the Nervous System, Healing, & Parenting, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://boomhealing.ca/2024/11/05/pda-nervous-system-healing-parenting-books/
• Recommended Books for Parents and Caregivers - Elizabeth Sautter, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://elizabethsautter.com/recommended-books-for-parents-and-caregivers
• Bonnell, Karen. (2011). The Co-Parenting Handbook: Raising Well-Adjusted and Resilient Kids from Little Ones to Young Adults. Atria Books.
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• Sensory-Friendly Movie Screenings - DFWChild, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://dfwchild.com/sensory-friendly-movie-screenings/
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• Understanding the Experience of Stigma for Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder and the Role Stigma Plays in Families' Lives - Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-015-2637-9
• Snappy Comebacks for Unsolicited Parenting Advice - A Child Grows, accessed on February 16, 2026, https://www.achildgrows.com/2017/05/26/unsolicited-parenting-advice/
• Circle of friends: personal boundaries activity for children 3-15 years - KidsHealth NZ, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/personal-boundaries-and-body-safety
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• Navigating Conflicting Disability Access Needs in Community - Autistic Self Advocacy Network, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://autisticadvocacy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/PADSA-Resource-Guide-_Conflicting-Access-Needs.pdf

Chapter 9: The Caring Compass: Self-Care for Co-Parents

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• Exploring relationship satisfaction in mothers of children with disabilities: the predictive role of interparental conflicts and moderating role of dyadic coping - Frontiers, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1307827/full
• Comparison of parental stress among mothers and fathers of children with autistic spectrum disorder in Iran - NIH, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4325421/
• Raymaker, D. M., Teo, A. R., Steckler, N. A., Lentz, B., Scharer, M., Delos Santos, A., Kapp, S. K., Hunter, M., Joyce, A., & Nicolaidis, C. (2020). "Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew": Defining Autistic Burnout. Autism in Adulthood, 2(2), 132–143. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2019.0079
• Higgins, J. M., Arnold, S. R. C., Weise, J., Pellicano, E., & Trollor, J. N. (2021). Defining autistic burnout through experts by lived experience: Grounded Delphi method investigating #AutisticBurnout. Autism, 25(8), 2356–2369. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613211019858
• Brief Report: A Pilot Study of Parent–Child Biobehavioral Synchrony in Autism Spectrum Disorder. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-015-2528-0
• Modestino, E. J. (2024). Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A Case Series. Acta Scientific Neurology, 7(7), 36–42. https://actascientific.com/ASNE/pdf/ASNE-07-0762.pdf
• Shaw, P., Stringaris, A., Nigg, J., & Leibenluft, E. (2014). Emotion dysregulation in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. American Journal of Psychiatry, 171(3), 276–293. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2013.13070966
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• Mental Health Foundation NZ - Mental health support and resources, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.mentalhealth.org.nz
• Maternal Cortisol Levels and Behaviour Problems in Adolescents and Adults with ASD - PMC, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2837763/
• Stress among Parents of Children with and without Autism Spectrum Disorder - NIH, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5502228/
• Parenting Stress in Mothers of Children With Autism Without Intellectual Disability. Mediation of Behavioural Problems and Coping Strategies - Frontiers, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00464/full
• Parenting Stress in Autistic and ADHD Children: Implications of Social Support and Child Characteristics - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12167323/
• Exploring Marital Quality in Parents of Children with Autism: Identifying Barriers and Facilitators - MDPI, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.mdpi.com/2076-0760/13/6/287
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• Parenting Stress in Mothers of Children With Autism Without Intellectual Disability. Mediation of Behavioural Problems and Coping Strategies - Frontiers, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00464/full
• Family Resilience and Parental Stress in Families of Children with Autism - The Family Journal, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1177/10664807211052494
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• Five Brain Hacks to Help Children Reset Their Nervous System - Wellbeing for LA Learning Centre, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://learn.wellbeing4la.org/detail?id=2035&k=1649185402
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• How to Stimulate Your Vagus Nerve for Better Mental Health - Providence, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.providence.org/-/media/project/psjh/providence/or/files/behavioral-health/how_to_stimulate_your_vagus_nerve_for_better_mental_health_1.pdf
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• 19 Top Positive Psychology Interventions + How to Apply Them, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://positivepsychology.com/positive-psychology-interventions/
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• Parent, child, and family outcomes following Acceptance And Commitment Therapy for parents of autistic children: A randomized controlled trial - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10851654/
• Parent, child, and family outcomes following ACT for parents of autistic children: A randomised controlled trial - Contextual Consulting, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://contextualconsulting.co.uk/resources/parent-child-and-family-outcomes-following-act-for-parents-of-autistic-children-a-randomised-controlled-trial
• EMDR Therapy for Children: A Parent's Complete Guide, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.childtherapycenterla.com/post/emdr-therapy-for-children-a-parent-s-complete-guide
• EMDR Therapy & Childhood Trauma - emdria, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.emdria.org/about-emdr-therapy/emdr-and-childhood-trauma/
• Marriage and a Special Needs Child, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://www.foryourmarriage.org/marriage-and-a-special-needs-child/
• 3 Tips for a Strong Relationship While Raising a Child with Special Needs - Ralston Law, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://ralstonlawestateplanning.com/3-tips-for-a-strong-relationship-while-raising-a-child-with-special-needs/
• High-conflict parenting (2020) High-Conflict Parenting Post-Separation, accessed on December 19, 2025, https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429468957-1
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• Reducing Demands to Reduce Anxiety in Children with PDA - The PDA Society, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/life-with-pda/family-life/reducing-demands/
• Raymaker, D. M., Teo, A. R., Steckler, N. A., Lentz, B., Scharer, M., Delos Santos, A., Kapp, S. K., Hunter, M., Joyce, A., & Nicolaidis, C. (2020). "Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew": Defining Autistic Burnout. Autism in Adulthood, 2(2), 132–143. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2019.0079
• The Characteristics and Effectiveness of Self-Managed Autistic Burnout Recovery - PMC - NIH, accessed on December 23, 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8325614/
• Higgins, J. M., Arnold, S. R. C., Weise, J., Pellicano, E., & Trollor, J. N. (2021). Defining autistic burnout through experts by lived experience: Grounded Delphi method investigating #AutisticBurnout. Autism, 25(8), 2356–2369. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613211019858
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• Te Whatu Ora Health New Zealand - Mental health services, accessed on December 24, 2025, https://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/services-and-support/health-care-services/mental-health-services
• ADHD New Zealand - Support and resources for ADHD, accessed on December 24, 2025, https://www.adhd.org.nz

Chapter 10: New Horizons: Adapting as Your Child Grows

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• Understanding school can't - Youthline NZ, accessed on December 20, 2025, https://www.youthline.co.nz
• Family Court of New Zealand - Parenting and family law resources, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.justice.govt.nz/family/
• Ministry of Justice NZ - Parenting arrangements and dispute resolution, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.justice.govt.nz/family/
• Ministry of Justice NZ - Protection of Personal and Property Rights Act (supported decision-making), accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.justice.govt.nz/family/
• Family Court of New Zealand - Welfare guardianship and property management, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.justice.govt.nz/family/
• Community Law NZ - Guardianship and administration resources, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://communitylaw.org.nz
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• Careers NZ - Support for students with disabilities, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.careers.govt.nz
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• Family Court of New Zealand - Family law resources, accessed on December 21, 2025, https://www.justice.govt.nz/family/

Chapter 11: The Voyage Continues: A Neurodivergent Co-Parent's Manifesto

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Appendix A: A Note on Neurodivergent Authorship and Writing with AI

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Appendix B: Glossary

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Appendix C: Resources

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Appendix D: Printable Tools

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Appendix E: Evidence Base

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Appendix F: Works Cited

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Appendix G: Transition Checklists

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